TANTUS FLEX REVIEW BY SCREAMING VIOLET
Bend & Flex - For over 3 years now I've been blogging about sex and writing sex toy reviews, and I have to say this is one of the hardest reviews I've written. I swear I have started over 4 or 5 times and each time there have been 3 or 4 different drafts. I've lost count of how many revisions have been sent to the trash, not to mention the one that got deleted right as I finished it. I swear this dildo sits by my computer mocking me – It is seriously kicking my ass.
It’s not because it is a highly technical toy – it’s a simple toy, nor is it because I’ve had to spend hours researching the materials it is crafted from, or looking into the ethics of the manufacturer. It’s made by one of the most ethical, sex positive, eco-friendly sex toy manufacturers of all time and the silicone is the top shelf, premium grade stuff. So what’s the drama?
I hate it.
I’ve written reviews of toys I’ve thought were dangerous, ones I’ve thought down were total crap, didn’t work, or I down right hated – and did so without drama, but they weren’t toys from Tantus. Tantus being a company I absolutely adore and whole heartedly support and in my top 10 sex toy brands. So saying I really dislike this toy feels like I’m telling my kid I don’t fully appreciate his latest finger painting, it’s difficult to find the right words. As I’ve had it for over a year now I think it’s finally time to put my big girl pants on and just get this thing written.
My first issue is short and sweet. It is described as being a vibrator…
Adding a bullet vibe to a dildo a vibrator it does not make… enough said.
The second issue is that the Flex has a few issues with its beaded shaft trying to stand to full attention, and a case of brewers droop really isn’t acceptable when it comes to a dildo now is it?
So Meet my frienemy and constant mocker – The Tantus Flex. As you can see Flex is a bit of a hybrid, a combination of an average dildo and a set of anal beads that looks a little cactus like if a cactus were a dildo. It’s designed to simulate the sensations of Double Penetration without all the awkwardness and human jealousies involved with threesomes. Brilliant concept and made out of awesome materials, but sadly the reality isn’t quite so awesome.
The beaded arm just doesn’t work. It is simply near impossible to insert the beady bit and once you have it simply won’t stay put during use. I’ve experimented with it on my own and with a partner, but it’s all just been an un-coordinated, awkward disaster. The issues come down to three specific points.
It’s length : It isn’t long enough to stay planted within one’s ass if you wish to thrust with the vaginal shaft, and I imagine I’m not the only one that wishes to actually thrust and fuck a dildo. Its length also makes it very difficult to insert in the first place, so if they added another 4 or 5 ‘beads’ it would be a far better toy.
Its position: Being attached to the main shaft an inch up from the base it is too closely connected to the main shaft – if you start thrusting it just drags the beads with it. In addition to adding some length I think its location could be adjusted, if it were planted into the base of the dildo rather than latched onto its shaft it would be far easier to use and thus a far better sex toy.
Its rigidity: Initially I thought its main issue was its excessive flexibility – and the irony of Flex having too much flex isn’t lost on me. It simply doesn’t have the rigidity or stiffness required to penetrate one’s ass. We are talking about our tightest orifice here, it takes something strong to be pushed through there. It needs to be inserted in a ‘bead by bead’ fashion – which would be fine if it were just beads, but when there is also a dildo attached it isn’t going to happen. At least not with my anatomy, I’m guessing a petite girl with a relatively flat vulva and more flexible limbs may have far more success than me and my plus sized frame.
I was thinking of ways to possibly address this design issue. One idea was to use a wire like skeleton inserted when filling the silicone into the mould. It would be awesome if you could kind of bend and mould the beady arm to the right angle and shape for your body, it would also allow you to thrust with both shafts and truly experience double penetration. But the possibility of a piece of wire piercing through one’s dildo is incredibly unappealing. Although if the location and length of the beady bit were adjusted I think the issue of flexibility wouldn’t be so much of a problem.
Although I’m far from a fan of the Flex, I am a massive fan of Tantus and if you are looking to experience the sensations of Double Penetration I highly recommend you check out the Vamp Dildo and consider pairing it with a set of Tantus Silicone Beads.
I wish to say a huge thank you to the wonderfully patient folks from SheVibe.com. They sent me the Flex to review in return for my honest review of it and have patiently waited for it.
If you’ve tried the Flex and loved it I would love to hear from you in the comments.
It feels so good to finally finish this review – I can feel the anxiety dissipating already!