This is a review that I’m kind of disappointed to be writing.
I was dying to try a USB rechargeable vibrator. Since I agreed to dive into Nymphomaniac Ness’ orgasm diet plan, a USB rechargeable vibe seemed the most sensible toy for the task. Plug it in, take it with me, get off instead of mindlessly snacking, charge it wherever I can find a USB port. Easy, right? In theory, yes. In practice, no. Not with the Mia 2.
SheVibe was lovely enough to send me LELO’s Mia 2 USB rechargeable lipstick vibe. The Mia 2 boasts that it has more power than the first Mia, and that power increase gave me a lot of hope. If there’s one thing I need from my vibrators, it is power.
Unfortunately, that power increase didn’t mean much to me. While I’m sure it’s better than the first Mia was, it still wasn’t good enough.
When I initially turned the Mia on for the first time, it seemed like it was reasonably powerful. The charge time isn’t too bad. I’m pretty sure that the instructions told me to charge the Mia for the first time for 2 hours. You’re supposed to be able to get an hour and a half of vibration out of a fully-charged Mia. The Mia 2 has 6 vibration patterns, which are inevitably wasted on a one-trick pony like me. I like it strong and consistent, but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the fact that I have options. And like the Picobong Kiki (I never thought I would bring up anything good about the Picobong Kiki, and I certainly never expected to compare to to a full-blown LELO product), the Mia has one vibration pattern that’s very musical. That gimmick never gets old to me. I can spend a LOT of time listening to a vibrator. I could have my own show: The Vibe Whisperer. Television producers, look no further, your ratings booster is here.
Anyway, straight out of the box with all the settings laid out before me, I was impressed. And then I tried it on my clit.
It’s not that the Mia doesn’t feel good. Of course it feels good! It just doesn’t feel THAT good. I constantly use the Mia on full power and just don’t get very much out of it.
The first time I used the Mia, I watched porn for 25 or 30 minutes and I wasn’t sure I was ever going to get off. I noticed the vibrations at first, but after a while I grew accustomed to how they felt and stopped getting any pleasure from the Mia at all. I finally switched to some different porn, which helped, but on the whole that entire masturbation session (in which I only used the Mia) took me about 45 minutes. And when it finally hit me, the orgasm didn’t leave me breathless – it just left me, period.
Now, I’m all for “self-loving” masturbation, but for me, there is a difference between jacking off and settling in for an extended masturbation session. When I jack off, I don’t want to sit there for 30 minutes waiting for an orgasm to show up out of the blue. Sometimes, especially when I’m feeling dysphoric, I want to get in, come once, and get out and be done with the whole affair. I’m not going to reach for the Mia when I’m jerking it under those circumstances because it just takes too long. But because I don’t find the Mia very stimulating, I’m probably not going to use it for extended periods of masturbation, either. I’m going to reach for a stronger vibrator that feels more present than the Mia does. If it can’t keep my attention, it doesn’t belong near my vagina.
I used the Mia for a week straight. Toward the end of the week, I would give up after 20 minutes or so and pull out the big guns. I’ve tried using both sides of the Mia on my clit and while the bottom definitely feels more stimulating than the lid (for obvious reasons), it just doesn’t do it for me.The most fun I had with the Mia 2 was with my partner. He had me bent over on my knees, blindfolded, and used it on me. Despite being enjoyable, it still didn’t bring me to orgasm. If it takes being deprived of one of my senses for me to adequately enjoy the Mia, then we just aren’t meant to be together.
One thing I really like about the Mia is that it’s been relatively easy to clean. Since it’s waterproof, I can just throw the whole shebang in the sink. I was worried that the buttons would trap gunk and be difficult to clean, but that hasn’t been the case. That’s not really enough to work the Mia into my regular sex toy rotation, though. [Edit: Dangerous Lilly pointed out in the comments that her Mia 2 does trap gunk in the buttons. I think mine probably didn't because it doesn't really do much for me.]
I have very specific needs, and apparently a lot of power is one of those needs. The Hitachi isn’t the only vibrator that brings me to orgasm – it’s one of several vibrators that gets the job done better than the Mia ever could. Maybe the Mia couldn’t provide me with enough power because it’s USB rechargeable. Maybe the Mia’s stimulation style – pinpoint – isn’t what I need. Plenty of people love the Mia 2, so this is clearly a matter of taste. Whatever the reason, though, it just isn’t for me. If you like pinpoint stimulation and don’t require T-rex strength vibrations, then the Mia 2 has a better chance of working for you than it did for me.