It’s Alive! (well, sorta) - A review of Fleshlight’s Frankenstein Dildo

Frankenstein Dildo by Fleshlight Freaks

Reviewed by Pixel of Of Pixelated Toys

It’s a grey and gloomy time of year, so I thought something a bit dark and morbid would be appropriate…luckily SheVibe had the perfect toy for this!

Frankenstein Dildo by Fleshlight Freaks
Frankenstein Dildo by Fleshlight Freaks

While Fleshlight is known for their male masturbation sleeves, they branched out into dildos and came out with their "Freaks" line.

If you’re a fan of classic horror and/or sci-fi, this line may be for you. The Freaks line has 5 dildos and 5 masturbation sleeves, each paired into male and female versions of fantastic monsters. The options are: Dracula, Frankenstein, Alien, Zombi, and Cyborg. I have to say that my favorites in the line up are the Dracula pair. The dildo has really lovely coloring, and dear gods, the bat-wing shaped labia on the sleeve are adorable!

Now, this is (please pardon the pun, but it has to be made) a monster of a dildo. A giant cock. It’s freaking huge, dude. The Frankencock is 10.25 inches long, with 8.25 inches of that being insertable and is 2.14 inches wide. Definitely the sort of toy a size king or queen would enjoy! It’s also a heavy toy, given how big it is. This is a good and bad thing. I tend to enjoy thrusting with my toys, but when you’re using a 2 pound toy, it’s best to either let someone else use this toy on me (My boyfriend is very obliging, luckily), or to just insert it and leave it there. I guess you could also put it on a flat surface and straddle it, fucking yourself with it, but I’m lazy when it comes to masturbation, and just stick with option A or B.

The details on this dildo are what makes it epic. Even the box, while oversized and really not practical for storage, had a horror film inspired font in several places. On the dildo itself, there are suture marks, nuts, bolts, and even a ‘tear’ on the base of the shaft that reveals a pipeline instead of a urethra. This toy looks like it was a missing prop from a XXX version of Frankenstein, and is decidedly ghoulish. My inner goth is thrilled!

The silicone is fairly firm, having a bit of squish to it. What the picture doesn’t show you is that the color isn’t just green. There’s a slight shimmer to it, as well as an odd purple-ish undertone. The toy also has a shiny finish, so it picks up hair, dust, and lint like crazy. I don’t have a ziplock big enough to store this in, so I’ve resigned myself to having to wash it before (and after!) every use. Luckily, the cleaning is easy, like most silicone toys. Washing with soap and water works for day to day cleaning, and to deep clean/completely sterilize, you’ll want to put it through the dishwasher (top shelf, no soap!), boiled for 3-5 minutes, or wipe it down with a 10% bleach solution. I honestly don’t have a pot big enough to boil this in and get it completely submerged, so what I’ve been doing is boiling the top half, flipping the toy over, then boiling the bottom. It’s a bit more time consuming, but I personally prefer it over using bleach. Also, you may need to use a toothbrush to get bits of cum and lube out of the really textured parts.

The Frankencock isn’t the sort of toy you can just shove in and jack yourself into a monster cock induced haze. I had to warm up beforehand with a smaller toy so the stretch didn’t kill my poor vagina. A bit of water based lube (you should only use water based lube with a silicone toy, y’all!) was also needed in the switch from the smaller toy to the monster one. The finish of the silicone itself means there is a lot of drag, and chafing sucks.

I’m a bit of a texture slut, so all the sutures, ridges, and bits and pieces of monster-y goodness were awesome for me! You can definitely feel all of the detailed pieces, and the ridges rub against my G-spot. The angle isn’t enough to give me a G-spot orgasm, but it’s a nice bit of added stimulation to my orgasm. It’s admittedly not for everyone, but if you’re like me, you’ll love it. I do find that if I’m having an epically jack off session, it can chafe a bit. Apart from that, I think it’s amazing and give it 5 monstrous paws up out of 5!

Posted on January 18, 2013 and filed under dildo, fleshlight.