Hey Epiphora Reviews The Fucking Sculptures G-Spoon Dildo

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I promptly asked for the biggest size available, because of course I did. That was my mistake.

The dildo comes, of course, in other sizes manageable to the average vagina, but mine isnot the average vagina. I use my vaginal distinction as justification for choosing THE HUGEST OF THE HUGE at all times. Sometimes to my glory, sometimes to my detriment.

The detriment is not, as you might assume, because it is too large to insert. Oh, that’s a breeze — 1.75" in diameter of solid glass? No big deal. The detriment is that the G-Spoon is too damn heavy. My vagina feels weighed down, giving me the sneaking suspicion that the dildo is trying to dump my body at the bottom of the ocean, à la Dexter.

I should've known better, but I didn't.

The Fucking Sculptures G-Spoon is made of soda lime glass, which is heavier than the borosilicate used for most mass-produced glass dildos. Soda lime isn't bothersome on smaller pieces, like the Candy-Colored Glass Dildo, but with the large version of the G-Spoon, the sensation that overrides all others is one of weight. And I… can’t get past it.

Undoubtedly, this is one of the most gorgeous toys I own. It looks like one of those vintage distressed tables you'd see on Pinterest. It has crevasses down its length that collect vag juice like a mofo — and require toothbrush clean-up. If you are highly motivated you could probably turn this dildo into a luge for squirt. (Porn producers, take note.) There's more...

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Posted on May 17, 2014 and filed under dildo, glass, fucking sculptures.