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Posted on January 1, 2018 .

Reviews By A Nerd - Fetish Fantasy Auto-VAC Nipple Pumps


My love for nipple play is no secret. Having my nipples sucked was the first sexual thing that ever happened to me, and since then I've been kind of obsessed with it. I love the feeling of suction on my nipples, so I've been on the look out for a good nipple pump for some time now. I've used a breast pump that is meant for breast feeding, and it just wasn't that great. When I saw the auto-vac nipple pump I knew I had to try it and let me just say this thing is amazing!  It gives you a great suction sensation!

On the box it advertises that it can leave you with huge puffy nipples, which I know some people would enjoy. I personally didn't get this pump for the puffy nipples part, and I haven’t experienced that even after leaving it on for some time! It does make my nipples slightly larger for a period of time, and enhances sensitivity. The feeling this pump causes is amazing and I grab for it almost every time I play now! There's more...


Posted on November 22, 2014 and filed under pipedream, nipple play.

Sapphire Ray Reviews The Lust by Jopen L5 Wand Style Vibrator


The Jopen Lust L5 is different from any of the other toys on the market that I have tried, she is a dual stimulating vibrator. I have used many dual stimulating toys but nothing like the Lust L5.

The L5 can be enjoyed by both male and female bodied folks as it anal safe. I am always happy to report when an item can be used by both those who are male and female bodied. While the L5 doesn't have a true flared base it does have petals on either side of the shaft which will prevent your bum from eating it. Lust L5 offers stimulation for the ladies in these areas, vagina, perineal stimulation and clitoral stimulation. For the gentlemen you can get anal stimulation while one of the petals stimulates your testicles as well as your penis.

The Lust L5 is offered in 3 colors pink, lime green and purple! I received mine in green which is awesome since I like my collection to vary in color if it isn't a realistic item.

Jopen Lust L5 I would say could be beginner friendly while it may look a little intimidating it really isn't. There's more...


Posted on November 20, 2014 and filed under jopen, silicone, vibrator.

Bex Talks Sex Reviews The Vaca G-Spot Silicone Dildo by BS


I love to collect things. Anything really: trading cards, Disney pins, plushies, gaming memorabilia, and of course, sex toys. Often times this leads me to making purchases which are justified simply by phrases like “but I neeeeeeed it”, or “well, I have all the other ones”, or “common, have you ever seen a cow patterned dildo before?”

Because I mean really though, have you?

It was designs like this that drew me to BS is Nice in the first place; they make paint splattered toysone that looks like a gym sockrainbow toyspill shaped butt plugs, and yes my cow patterned dildo. I’ll admit it, I probably would have wanted this toy no matter what it was shaped like, but luckily it came in a shape I could get behind too. As any reader of my site knows, I’m all about that g-spot stimulation so I was excited to see that the Vaca offers that drastic curve and wide flattened head that I thought would be everything my g-spot loves. So while it was the interesting pattern that earned Vaca a spot on my wishlist, the curve moved it towards the top.

Unfortunately when I actually held the toy in my hands I noticed that the curve I was so excited about looked ever so slightly different than it had in pictures. It is much less defined than I expected; while the curve itself is pronounced, the edges of the head are much softer and more graduated than they are on something like the Lelo Ella.

Ella, whose tip is only very slightly smaller than that of the Vaca, has definitive edges to the head and gets drastically thinner beyond those edges. This keeps the focus where they want it and no where else, the Vaca on the other hand has none of these things. It has the curve sure but when it comes to the tip it is not focused at all, it’s as if the toy just ends, the head has no sculpting to make it look intentional or pronounced. There's more...


Posted on November 17, 2014 and filed under bs is nice, dildo, silicone.

SEX.COM Reviews The Fetish Fantasy Elite 6" Pink G-Spot Dildo


As a man tasked with reviewing sex toys from time to time, I often find myself in the predicament of being the wrong gender. Though there are tons of sex toys for men available for you to try, they never seem to get shipped to me for free so that I can tell you whether or not they’re worth your hard-earned money.

So when a box of dildos and vibrators arrive at my desk, I do what any man would…contact as many females I know and tell them that I have a bunch of dildos and vibrators they need to use and describe the experience in great detail. Usually that’s followed by a, “Chico, you pervert.” But then I explain its “for work” and we all good.

Earlier this month, I made my friend Helen try the Fetish Fantasy Elite 6″ Pink G-Spot Dildo. Little did I know this was her first time ever playing with a dildo! Let’s find out how it went. 

I've been a vibrator kind of girl since I first received an anal vibrator from my friends, as a joke, on my 18 birthday (and they didn't know it was for anal play).

My collection of vibrating friends have since expanded, but still, up until the subject of this particular review arrived in the mail, I had never tried a dildo.

I mean, I didn't see the point – I have been in a relationship for the past 5 years.

But last week, a bright pink g-spot dildo with a suction cup arrived at my house, courtesy of the Blog’s Chico Dusty.

When I had a bit of time alone, I decided to try it out. There's more...


Posted on November 17, 2014 and filed under dildo, pipedream, silicone.

The Redhead Bedhead Reviews The NobEssence Romp


I’m going to start this off in a way that I would generally discourage reviewers from opening a write up of any product, here goes: I’m not really into butt toys, they just aren’t my thing I tend to like the beginner ones and the pretty ones and I don’t consider myself particularly knowledgeable about any of them. For that I defer to Lorax.

So, with all that being true, what in the name of Crista Anne’s rainbow tap-dancing dildo gods possessed me to request the Nobessence Romp to review? Well, I’ve always had a bit of a crush on Nobessence toys. so far their Fling and Seduction have appeared respectively on my 2013 and 2014sex toy word on the street is that this toy is the butt whisperer, a piece that can make even toy resistant bums  purr… Also, it’s freaking gorgeous! So the lovelies over at SheVibe sent me the Romp and I gave it a whirl.

Before we go any further I’ll stop and address the question I know comes up whenever we deal with wood toys:

 “Won’t it give me splinters?!”

Short answer: Of course not! Why would anyone buy such a thing?! Long answer: A quality wooden sex toy (such as, well, anything from Nobessence) will be sanded, finished and sealed in a body safe way (Nobessence uses something called Lubrosity™. There’s so much more to say about this but I’d rather move on to the fun stuff so I’ll hand it off to the amazingDangerous Lilly, go read what she has to say:

Wood Sex Toys: An Introduction by Dangerous Lilly

Okay,  now that that’s done, let’s talk about using the Romp, which I will henceforth refer to as “Romp-ing!”

Vaginal Romp-ing!- Even though I generally think of it as an anal toy folks always say that it works fabulously for g-spot stimulation during cunnilingus. Now I’m not besties with my g-spot but I decided to give it a go before using it anally. So, it felt good (bear in mind that this is where I come down on g-spot stuff.. for me it feels like there’s an area where stuff feels niceand then some parts that feel annoying- no big bang amazing spot though) but logistically we couldn’t find an angle/position that hit things right and allowed cunnilingus to continue unimpeded. That’s fine though because the best was yet to come. There's more...


Posted on November 9, 2014 and filed under anal toy, dildo, nobessence, wood.

Mr. Will Reviews The Fun Factory Cobra Libre II


Often, when Shevibe gets a new male product I get a message asking if I’d like to give it a shot so they’ve got a review on it. Often, because Shevibe is Shevibe and they like to carry the most bad ass stuff they can find it’s a product I was interested in anyway. The Cobra Libre 2 by Fun Factory? I’ve been interested in trying a Cobra Libre out since I first heard of them, but hadn’t had luck finding one for review. Shevibe added them to their stock and I got this one exchange for an unbiased review (in compliance with the FTC wanting their fingers in everyone’s assholes.)

What Is The Fun Factory Cobra Libre 2? It’s a stroke free penile masturbatory aid. I almost said hands free, but those buttons would certainly be magic if it were indeed hands free. I say stroke free because it’s supposed to be able to get a penis to climax without having to do all the stroke-y stroke-y we've grown used to. We’ll see. There's more...


Posted on November 8, 2014 and filed under fun factory, masturbator, silicone, vibrator.

Bex Talks Sex - Njoy Pure Wand vs. Jopen Comet Wand


If you've ever hunted for your g-spot or studied to unlock the mysteries of squirting you've surely come across the Njoy Pure Wand. It may not be quite as iconic as the vibrator formally known as the Hitachi, but the Pure Wand sure has made a name for itself in the sex toy world as being the go-to for the g-spot. The heavy material, drastic curve, and bulbous head works in a way that seem to be able to get almost any body to squirt, and for a long time that has made it a favorite for many.

Sometime last year another toy hit the market, one that looks distinctly similar to the Pure Wand, but the lighter material and silicone coating make the Key Comet Wand stand out as more than just another knockoff. Not long after it’s release reviewers started singing it’s praises as the star of the new Key line from Jopen, and with two toys so similar and so widely appreciated, the questions becomes: Which one do you get?

The Pure Wand is a tool, I can slide it into place, wiggle it for about 15 seconds, and have a near instant squirting orgasm.1  The smooth stainless steel slides effortlessly into the body, so despite the blunt tip I can always skip straight to the larger side, and the weight of the material is part of what creates the intense stimulation that this toy offers.

The Comet Wand is both shockingly similar and drastically different from the Pure Wand in use just as much as it is in appearance. Although the head is roughly the same size as the large end of the Pure Wand, the grab of the silicone makes it feel much more intimidating upon first insertion and begs for the use of a good lube, and a warm up. There's more...


Posted on November 4, 2014 and filed under dildo, jopen, metal, njoy, silicone.

Of Sex And Love Reviews Flirty Little Secret Pink Caviar Scrub


I never thought I would try another Booty Parlor product if I’m being honest. The last time I did, I was rather unimpressed by the quality of multiple products, so I’ve stayed away. It’s been a while, and I’ve opt to review another product from the company thanks to SheVibe. The pink caviar scrub is a body product, sensual as best. It’s definitely not sexual, but I certainly feel sexier when my skin is soft and smooth!

So let’s start with the positives. This thick scrub has some serious scrubbing power thanks to the sugar granules. I’m not sure if the caviar beads help. I can’t really tell the difference between them and the sugar, honestly. The texture is well mixed.

Secondly, I like the smell. It’s generally sweet. The scent is supposed to be raspberry lemonade. I get a hint of lemon if I’m looking for it, but the sugary smell really stands out.

However, there’s something about the overall texture that prevents me from loving this scrub wholeheartedly. More specifically, it’s slick and hard to rinse off. When used on my feet in the shower, it’s slippery. In fact, the residue stays on the floor through several showers, so I couldn’t imagine how slippery this would be after several showers if i used it every time. There's more...


Posted on November 2, 2014 and filed under bath & body, booty parlor.

Property Of Potter Reviews The Lucky Dildo From Happy Valley

Lucky from Happy Valley is a realistic dildo designed with girth lovers in mind.  If you like your orifices filled with delicious silicone, look no further!  This dildo features a large base which makes it easy to hold for solo pleasure (or for your partner to hold while they pleasure you), is completely safe for anal use (advanced users only), and allows it to fit securely in a harness (for pegging and strap-on sex).  No matter what gender you are or your relationship type, if you love above average sized toys, this is a fantastic option.

Lucky is made entirely from silicone which is a body safe material that’s non-porous, latex free, and phthalate free.  Silicone is very easy to clean and care for, and can even be sterilized between use (and should be when switching orifices or sharing).  After regular use, you can wash the toy with soap and water or your favorite toy cleaner.  When it comes time to sterilize, you have a few options.  You can use a 10% bleach solution, boil the toy for a few minutes, or clean it in your dishwasher.  This material is compatible with water-based lube only, as other types could cause the surface to degrade.

When you want a realistic feeling dildo, you can’t get any closer than dual density silicone.  The inner core of the dildo is made from a firm, but flexible silicone, and the outer layer features silicone that’s much softer and easier to compress.  It’s squishy, comfortable to use, and feels more like an actual penis.  The core starts below the head, so it compresses much more than the shaft.  The testicles feel very similar to the shaft, but the bottom is shiny and made from the firm silicone only.  The dildo curves upward, which is great for G-spot and prostate stimulation, and naturally bends in that direction.

The surface is matte, but smooth, and isn't textured.  A little lube goes a long way and helps the toy glide smoothly across the skin.  The silicone has a sort of tacky feeling to the plush outer layer, and picks up lint with ease.  It washes easily, but lint is an issue the moment the dildo is set down.

The design is difficult to mistake; it’s meant to look like a penis and features all the obvious elements without being overly realistic.  It has a bulbous head and testicles, but it doesn't have fine details like veins and wrinkles.

The size is definitely on the large side, and isn't suitable for those that prefer slim toys or aren't used to penetration.  That being said, the outer layer does add some extra comfort, so the size feels less extreme than it would in a hard material like glass.  The full length from the bottom of the base, straight to the tip, is 8″ with about 6 1/2″ of insertable length.  The girth ranges from 5 1/2″ to 6″ in circumference, but the tip is thinner and provides a natural increase in size. There's more...


Posted on October 31, 2014 and filed under dildo, happy valley silicone, silicone.